Red wine White wine Red wine White wine Red wine White wine Red wine White wine Red wine White wine Red winw White wine
Tongue Twisters should be said quickly
Betty Botter bought some butter but the butter it was bitter. If I use this bitter butter it will make my batter bitter, so t'was better Betty Botter bought a bit of better butter. So she bought the better butter and it made her batter better, so t'was better Better Botter bought a bit of better butter.
Which wristwatches are Swiss wristwatches? She sells sea shells on the sea shore , the shells she sells, are sea shore shells I'm sure.
Why are most Monsters covered in wrinkles?
Have you ever tried to iron a wrinkley Monster!
Tongue Twisters should be said quickly
A top shoeshine shop is a ship-shap shoeshine shop, not a slipshod shoeshine shop.
A fly and a flea in a flue Were imprisoned, so what could they do? "Let us fly," said the flea "Let us flee,"said the fly So they flew through a flaw in the flue.
The dragon will come at the beat of the drum With a rat-a-tat-tat a-tat-tat a-tat-to At a quarter or two to two today, At a quarter or two to two.
Tongue Twisters should be said quickly
Whether the weather be fine, Or whether the weather be not, Whether the weather be cold, Or whether the weather be hot, We'll weather the weather,Whatever the weather, Whether we like it or not.
Tongue Twisters should be said quickly
Billy Button bought a buttered biscuit, Did Billy Button buy a buttered biscuit? Then if Billy Button bought a buttered biscuit, Where's the buttered biscuit Billy Button bought
What a to do, to die today, At a quarter or two to two. A terrible difficult thing to say But a harder thing still to do.
TongueTwisters should be said quickly
Black bug bit a big black bear. But where is the big black bear that the big black bug bit?
Of all the felt I ever felt, I never felt a piece of felt, which felt as fine as that felt felt, when first I felt that felt hat's felt.
Tongue Twisters should be said quickly
The Twelve Twitcher Twisted Twine
If Freaky Fred Found Fifty Feet of Fruit and Fed Forty Feet to his Friend Frank how many Feet of Fruit did Freaky Fred Find?
Which watch did which witch wear and which witch wore which watch?
If a black bug bleeds black blood, what color blood does a blue bug bleed?
Tongue Twisters should be said quickly
If one doctor doctors another doctor does the doctor who
doctors the doctor doctor the doctor the way the doctor he is doctoring
doctors? Or does the doctor doctor the way the doctor who doctors
doctors?
Six shimmering sharks sharply striking shins. Six silver swans swam silently seaward.
Peter pan pats his pet puppy perpetually
What did the shy pepple monster say?
I do wish I was a little boulder!
Tongue Twisters should be said quickly
Little Lettuce ladles lentil soup
Sam saw Sue's seesaw Sue saw Sam's seesaw So did Sam know Sue saw Sam and did Sue know Sam saw Sue. How many cans can a canner can, if a canner can can cans? A canner can can as many cans as a canner can, if a canner can can cans. Chase the bug around the tree, catch it if you can. The rugged rascal ran around the rugged tree
Tongue Twisters should be said quickly
If you understand, say "understand". If you don't understand, say "don't understand". But if you understand and say "don't understand". How do I understand that you understand? Understand!
CAROL COLOURS CURLS.
Tongue Twisters should be said quickly
Peter Piper picked a peck of pickled peppers. A peck of
pickled peppers Peter Piper picked. If Peter Piper picked a peck of
pickled peppers, where's the peck of pickled peppers Peter Piper picked? A skunk sat on a stump. The stump thought the skunk stunk. The skunk thought the stump stunk . What stunk the skunk or the stump?
TongueTwisters should be said quickly
I thought a thought. But the thought I thought wasn't the thought I thought I thought. If the thought I thought I thought had been the thought I thought, I wouldn't have thought so much.
PETER PICKLED PEPPERED PRAWNS PERFECTLY
In marble walls as white as milk, Lined with a skin as soft as silk, Within a fountain crystal clear, A golden apple doth appear; No doors there are to this stronghold, Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.
(An egg.)
***********
There was a man in our town, And he was wondrous wise; He jumped into a brier bush, And scratched out both his eyes; And when he saw his eyes were out, With all his might and main He jumped into another bush, And scratched 'em in again.
************ Thirty days hath September, April, June, and November; February has twenty-eight alone, All the rest have thirty-one, Excepting leap year, that's the time When February's days are twenty-nine.
FINN THOUGHT THIN THOUGHT
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking around with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies." he responded
"Killing any?"
"Yep, 3 males and 2 females."
Intrigued she asked "How can you tell?"
"3 were on a beer can, and the other 2 were on the phone.."
Q: Why do women pay more attention to their appearance than improving their minds?
A: Because most men are stupid, but few are blind.
A skunk sat on a stump and thunk the stump stunk, but the stump thunk the skunk stunk.
Twenty white horses Upon a red hill; Now they tramp, Now they champ, Now they stand still. (A child's teeth.)
A guy named Bob receives a free ticket to the Super Bowl from his company. Unfortunately,
when Bob arrives at the stadium he realizes the seat is in the last row
in the corner of the stadium - he's closer to the Goodyear blimp than
the field. About halfway through the first quarter, Bob notices an empty seat 10 rows off the field, right. He decides to take a chance and makes his way through the stadium and around the security guards to the empty seat. As he sits down, he asks the gentleman sitting next to him, "Excuse me, is anyone sitting here?" The man says no. Now, very excited to be in such a great seat for the game, on the 50 yard line. Bob again inquires of the man next to him, "This is incredible! Who in their right mind would have a seat like this at the SuperBowl and not use it?" The man replies, "Well, actually, the seat belongs to me, I was supposed to come with my wife, but she passed away. This is the first Super Bowl we haven't been together at since we got married in 1967. "Well, that's really sad," says Bob, "but still, A relative or close friend?" "No," the man replies, "they're all at the funeral." couldn't you find someone to take the seat?
There's a knock at the front door. A man opens it and looks down to find a snail sitting on the stoop.
He picks up the little critter and throws it as far as he can. Three years later, there's a knock.
The man opens the door, looks down, and there sits the same snail.
The snail looks up and says, "What on earth was that about?"
"I got this new hearing aid the other day.
It really works fantastically."
" Are you wearing it now?"
" Yep. Cost me a small fortune, but it's really top of the line."
" What kind is it?"
" Twelve thirty"
Driving with my two youngs boys to a funeral,
I tried to prepare them by talking about burial and what we believe happens after death.
The boys behaved well during the service.
But at the grave site I discovered my explanations weren't as thorough as I'd thought.
In a loud voice, my four-year-old asked, "Mom?"
" Yes," I whispered.
" What's in the box?"
Oh dear! What can the matter be, Three old maids got stuck in the lavatory, They were there from Monday to Saturday, And nobody knew they were there.
The first Old Maid was Elizabeth Bender,
She went in to fix her suspender, It snapped back, hit her and wow did wind her, And nobody seemed to care.
Oh dear! What can the matter be, Three old maids got stuck in the lavatory,
They were there from Monday to Saturday, And nobody knew they were there.
The second Old Maid was Old Ms. Potter,
She went in to get rid of superfluous water,
She claimed to be the Earl of Chesterfield's Daughter,
But nobody seemed to care.
Oh dear! What can the matter be,
Three old maids got stuck in the lavatory,
They were there from Monday to Saturday,
But nobody knew they were there.
The third old maid was old Ms. Humpfrey,
She sat so long she couldn't get her bum free,
She said 'I don't care for I am feeling quite comfy',
Yet nobody seemed to care.
Chorus once more.
A mushroom walks into
a bar and the waiter says 'You look like a fungi!' (fun guy)
Knock knock, who's there?
BOO
BOO WHO?
OH YOU DIDN'T NEED TO CRY IT WAS ONLY A JOKE
Teacher:
You missed school yesterday didn't you?
Pupil:
Not very much!
KNOCK KNOCK
WHO'S THERE ?
DISNEY
DISNEY WHO?
DISNEY MAKE SENSE
1. What is it that poor
people have, rich people don't have, and if you eat it you
will die? Answer 1. Nothing.
bowls ?
chilliest
ground in the premiership ?
footballer
and a magician have in common ?
and screams from the top of a tower? 
