One day my mother was out and my dad was in charge of me.
I was maybe 2½ years old and had just recovered from an accident.
Someone had given me a little 'tea set' as a get-well gift and it was one of my favorite toys.
was in the living room engrossed in the evening news when I
brought Daddy a little cup of 'tea', which was just water.
cups of tea and lots of praise for such yummy tea, my Mum came home.
Dad made her wait in the living room to watch me bring him a cup of
tea, because it was 'just the cutest thing!'
My Mom waited, and sure
enough,here I come down the hall with a cup of tea for Daddy and she
watches him drink it up.
Then she says, (as only a mother would know... :)
'Did it ever occur to you darling that the only place she can reach to get water is the toilet?'
DOCTOR, DOCTOR JOKE
Through the years
"Doctor, Doctor, I have an ear ache."
In 2000 B.C.- "Here, eat this root."
In 1000 B.C.- "That root is heathen, say this prayer."
In 1850 A.D.- "That prayer is superstition, drink this potion."
In 1940 A.D.- "That potion is snake oil, swallow this pill."
In 1985 A.D.- "That pill is ineffective, take this antibiotic."
In 2000 A.D.- "That antibiotic is artificial. Here, eat this root!"
LAUGHTER - LAUGHTER - LAUGHTER
Some are cuddly, some are fierce, and some are gone from the earth
never to be seen again, but they are all part of the great Animal
Kingdom, and so to one degree or another members of our own family.
Here’s your chance to explore some points of interest regarding just a
few of them.
Noah’s Ark, by Edward Hicks (1780-1849)
In the famous
Warner Brothers cartoons, a fast-moving bird called a “road runner”
makes life difficult for a not-so-wily coyote.
Here is a little question for you : What kind of bird is a Road runner. ?
Cuckoo - Pheasant - Stork - Turkey
There are two species of road runner, both native to Central
America. They are poor flyers, but — as the name suggests — good
runners, attaining sprint speeds of up to 25 kph (15 mph). Although they
are ?'s, road runners do not lay eggs in other birds’ nests.
There's a clue in the question.
When the little girl everyone knows as Little Red
Riding-Hood first appeared in English, in a translation of a story by
Charles Perrault, she was given a more conventional name to go along
with her famous nickname.
Can anyone tell me what her name was ?
Here is a clue, in the Uk and other places an old hen is called by this name.
In some versions of the story, Biddy survives, but her grandmother is devoured by the wolf; in
others, even the grandmother escapes. Perrault’s original telling,
however, has both of them eaten, and no adverse consequences for the
wolf — except, one supposes, a stomach-ache.
Sorry children but it wasn't till much later that the woodman was created and cut open the wolf.
A FEW SILLY JOKES FROM THE COMIC RELIEF PAGES.
1. Two antennas met on a roof, fell in love and got married. The ceremony wasn't much, but the reception was excellent.
2. A set of jump leads walk into a bar. The bartender says, 'I'll serve you, but don't start anything.'
3. Two peanuts walk into a bar, and one was a salted.
4. A man woke up in a hospital after a serious accident. He shouted,
'Doctor, doctor, I can't feel my legs !' The doctor replied, 'I know you
can't - I've cut off your arms !'
5. Two cannibals are eating a clown. One says to the other: 'Does this taste funny to you ?'
6. 'Doc, I can't stop singing 'The Green, Green Grass of Home.' 'That
sounds like Tom Jones Syndrome.' 'Is it common ?' 'Well, It's Not
7. An invisible man marries an invisible woman. The kids were nothing to look at either.
8. I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day, but I couldn't find any.
9. What do you call a fish with no eyes ? A fsh
10.Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says, 'Dam !'
11. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were a bit cold, so they lit a fire
in the craft. It sank, proving once again that you can't have your kayak
and heat it too.
LAUGHTER - LAUGHTER - LAUGHTER
A JOKE THAT DIDDILY'S PETER MADE UP TODAY;
Q. What do you call an onion who is always pushing others about?
A. Why, an onion barjhi of course. Hmm, he has a way of telling them
LAUGHTER WITH TEARS ........ FUN
TEARS WITHOUT LAUGHTER......HURTS
A L L M A D
"He is mad as a hare, poor fellow, And should be in chains," you say. I haven't a doubt of your statement, But who isn't mad, I pray ? Why the world is a great asylum, And people are all insane, Gone daft with pleasure or folly, Or crazed with passion and pain.
The infant who shrieks at a shadow, The child with his Santa Claus faith, The woman who worships Dame Fashion, Each man with his notions of death, The miser who hoards up his earnings, The spendthrift who wastes them too soon, The scholar grown blind in his delving, The lover who stares at the moon,
The poet who thinks life a paean, The cynic who thinks it a fraud, The youth who goes seeking for pleasure, The preacher who dares talk of God, All priests with their creeds and their croaking. All doubters who dare to deny,
The happy who find aught to wake laughter, The sad who find aught worth a sigh, Whoever is downcast or solemn, Whoever is gleeful and glad, Are only the dupes of delusions We are all of us... all of us MAD.
Written of course by the wonderful Ella Wheeler Wilcox, from her tiny poetry book Poems of Cheer. page 96 a Langton Booklet 1917
Have you been to see TOTORO yet I think there is a bit about him somewhere in the Studio Ghibli Playlists ?
LAUGHTER WITH TEARS ........ FUN. TEARS WITHOUT LAUGHTER......HURTS
Teacher: Now, Sam, tell me frankly do you say prayers before eating? Sam: No sir, I don't have to, my mum is a good cook. Little Johnny watched, fascinated, as his mother smoothed cold cream on her face.
Why do you do that, mummy? he asked.
To make myself beautiful," said his mother, who then began removing the cream with a tissue. "What's the matter?" asked Little Johnny. "Giving up?
Teacher: What do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? Pupil: A teacher.
Golden Rule for Living (Author
If you open it, close it.
If you turn it on, turn it off.
If you unlock it, lock it up.
If you break it, admit it.
If you can't fix it, call someone who can.
If you borrow it, return it.
If you value it, put it back.
If you make a mess, clean it up.
If you move it, put it back.
If it belongs to someone else, get permission to use it.
If you don't know how to operate it, leave it alone.
If it's none of your business, don't ask questions.
SELIGOR'S CASTLE THE MOST FUN FILLED CASTLE ON THE NET! Fun for all the Children of the World
THE TEN COMMANDMENTS FOR PARENTS FROM CHILDREN
1. My hands are small; please do not expect perfection whenever I
make a bed, draw a picture, or throw a ball. My legs are short; slow down so that I can
keep up with you.
2. My eyes have not seen the world as yours have; let me explore it
safely; do not restrict me unnecessarily.
3. Housework will always be there; I am little only for a short
time. Take time to explain things to me about this wonderful world, and do so willingly.
4. My feelings are tender; do not nag me all day long (you would
not want to be nagged for your inquisitiveness). Treat me as you would like to be treated.
5. I am a special gift to both of you, holding you accountable for my actions, giving me guidelines to live by, and
discipline me in a loving manner.
6. I need your encouragement (but not your empty praise) to grow.
Go easy on the criticism; remember you can criticise the things I do without criticising
7. Give me the freedom to make decisions concerning myself. Permit
me to fail, so that I can learn from my mistakes. Then someday I will be prepared to make
the decisions life will require of me.
8. Do not do things for me; that makes me feel that my efforts did
not measure up to your expectations. I know its hard, but don't compare me with my brother
9. Do not be afraid to leave for a weekend together. Kids need
vacations from parents, and parents need vacations from kids. Besides, it's a great way to
show us kids that your marriage is something special.
Teach me the right way to live and love my family and friends, and show
me the right way to treat the other children of the world. All of us
are different in one way or another and we will be learn by your
guidence the meaning of love and respect for all living beings.
Now that I lie down in my bed,
And pull the covers up to my head.
I'll dream of dragons and fairies bright,
And pixies and wizards and elves tonight.
I'll dream of some sort of magical place, and
wake in the morning with a smile on my face.
Today Peter went to mow the grass in the long garden. Imagine his surprise to find that all the little frogs are doing a mass exodus from the pond above the patio wall, up to the top of the garden. They are probably going to the woods that is the other side of the stream. So it looks like we are going to have long grass for a while. Can I remind everyone that this is the time for the tiny babies to leave the pond. Be careful if you are mowing oreven walking on the lawn. They are only about an inch long, much smaller than ourselves.
Here you go, some froggie things I found on Google .
Two brothers were out in the woods exploring
when they came cross a pond. The oldest told the other to go in and
see how deep it was.
Reluctantly, he went in and a few
seconds later, the older brother heard a loud splash and called out to
the younger brother "How deep is it?" He answered back
And with that the older brother started walking in
and a few feet later, he fell in up to his waist. As they were getting out, the
older brother said, "Why did you say it was knee deep?"
"I didn't," said the other brother. "Then who
did then?" said the young one.
Just then a little chuckle came from the other side of the pond, they turned around and saw a laughing frog
rolling in the dirt.
Froggie Story Two
Once upon a time, in a land far away, a
beautiful, independent, self assured princess happened upon a
frog as she sat, contemplating ecological issues on the shores of
an unpolluted pond in a verdant meadow near her castle. The frog
hopped into the princess lap and said "Elegant Lady, I was
once a handsome prince, until an evil witch cast a spell upon me.
One kiss from you, however, and I will turn back into the dapper,
young prince that I am, and then, my sweet, we can marry and
setup housekeeping in yon castle with my mother, where you can
prepare my meals, clean my clothes, bear my children, and forever
feel grateful and happy doing so."
That night, the princess dined sumptuously on a meal of lightly sautéed frog legs seasoned in a white wine and
shallot cream sauce.
Froggie Story Three
One day a frog was walking along the lane when he met a fox, he said:
"Hi! Mr Fox, I'm a wide mouth frog and I eat flies.
What do you eat?" The fox said "I suppose I eat
rabbits." and carried on walking down the lane.
Next the frog came upon a rabbit, and said: " Hi! Mr Rabbit, I'm a wide mouth frog. I eat flies. What
do you eat? " The rabbit frowned, took a couple of carrots out of his pocket and said. "Carrots I suppose!"
A bit further along the lane ended at a river and lying on the bank was an alligator, "Hi! Mr Alligator, I'm a wide mouth frog and I eat flies. What do you eat? The alligator smiled a huge toothy smile, licked his lips and with one bound, scooped up the wide mouth frog. One gulp and he was gone then he wiped his mouth and said:
"Hm," he munched, "I eat Wide Mouth Frogs!"
THE DARING FROGGIE
Once upon a time on the border of a brook
A wicked little froggie who had never read a book --
Who had never read a story or a funny little rhyme,
Had a sad and tragic ending once upon a time.
The little froggie, sad to say, was very fond of flies,
And thought on this unlucky day that he had found a prize.
"Up, up I go," said Froggie; "I can climb as well
I only hope he stays right there until I reach the top.
"I wish this wouldn't bend so much" said Froggie, going
"I wish that flies would shut their eyes and come a little
But he is such a good one and he looks so very fine,
I think that I must have him, for it's time for me to dine."
So up he went, regardless of the danger he was in;
He saw a duck below him, but he didn't care a pin'
But suddenly behind his back the reed began to crack,
And all he heard was just one word, and that one word was
"The next time it begins to rain... lie down on your belly, nestle your chin into the grass, and get a frog's-eye view of how raindrops fall... The sight of hundreds of blades of grass bowing down and popping back up like piano keys strikes me as one of the merriest sights in the world."
LAUGHTER ~ LAUGHTER ~ LAUGHTER
THE BLIND MAN'S BREAKFAST; This really must be said is a bit of a "mucky" game but it is very, very funny. You will need two large sheets of paper, or better still an old sheet for the children to sit on! followed by children dressed in attire that wont matter if they get wet and sticky. Plenty of warm water, soap and a flannel, remembering a towel also to wipe the little dears clean after the game. The children sit opposite a partner, just within arms reach, boy opposite boy is best and girl opposite girl. They are then blindfolded and given a cut up slice of bread and butter in a dish and a spoon (Jam is optional) Then the game begins as each child takes it in turn to feed the other with the spoons, which generally goes anywhere but their wee mouths. No peeping allowed or diqualified.
BLINDMEN DRAWING A PIG; Even those who think themselves clever artists will be hard pushed to make a really good drawing of a pig, especially when it comes to putting in the eye and then the curly tail. Each friend has a pencil and a piece of paper; If the children can be trusted to keep their eyes tight shut okay, but otherwise blind folds must be applied. Then the pig is drawn, the tail is placed and the eye added. When everyone has finished, get someone in the other room to decide whose is the best, and you have a winner and many funny pigs.
A. was an ant who seldom stood still And who made a nice house in the side of a hill. a! Nice little Ant!
B. was a book with a binding of blue And pictures and stories for me and for you. b! Nice little Book.
C. was a cat, who ran after a rat But his courage did fail when she seized on his tail. c! Crafty old Cat!
D. was a duck with spots on his back Who lived in the water and always said, quack! d! Dear little Duck!
E. was an elephant, stately and wise; He had tusks and a trunk, and two queer little eyes! e! O what funny small eyes!
F. was a fish, who caught in a net, But he got out again, and is quiet alive yet. f! Lively young fish.
G. was a goat who was spotted with brown When he did not lie still, he walked up and down. g! Good little Goat.
H. was a hat which was all on one side, Its crown was too high and its brim was too wide. h! O! what a Hat!
I. was some ice so white and so nice But which nobody tasted, and so it was wasted. i! All that good Ice.
J. was a jack-daw who hopped up and down In the principal street of a neighbouring town. j! all through the town!
K. was a kite which flew out of site Above houses so high quite into the sky. k! Fly away, Kite.
L. was a light which burned all the night. And lighted the gloom, of a very dark room. l! Useful nice light!
M. was a mill which stood on a hill And turned round and round with a loud hummy sound. m! useful old Mill!
N. was a net, which was thrown in the sea, To catch fish for dinner for you and for me. n! Nice little Net!
O. was an orange so yellow and round; When it fell off the tree, it fell down to the ground. o! Down to the ground!
P. was a pig who was not very big But his tail was too curly, and that made him surly. p! Cross little Pig!
Q. was a quail, with a very short tail And he fed upon corn in the evening and morn. q! Quaint little Quail.
R was a rabbit who had a bad habit. Of eating the flowers in gardens and bowers. r! Naughty fat Rabbit!
S. was the sugar tongs nippity-nee, To take up the sugar to put in our tea. s! Nippity-nee!
T. was a tortoise all yellow and black; He walked slowly away and he never came back. t! Torty never came back!
U. was an urn all polished and bright And full of hot water at noon and at night. u! Useful old urn.
V. was a villa which stood on a hill. By the side of a river and close to a mill. v! Nice little Villa!
W. was a whale with a very long tail Whose movements were frantic across the Atlantic. w! Monstrous old Whale!
X. was King Xerxes, who more than all Turks is Renown'd for his fashion of fury and passion. x! Angry old Xerxes!
Y. was a yew, which flourished and grew, By a quiet abode near the side of a road. y! Dark little Yew!
Z was some zinc so shiny and bright, Which caused you to wink in the sun's merry light. z! Beautiful Zinc!
A NONSENSE ALPHABET BY THE LATE GREAT EDWARD LEAR.
DONALD DUCK, IRRITABLE AS HE IS, ALWAYS MAKES US SMILE. A SLOPPY WALK AND SHRILL SPEECH ARE HIS LOVED TRAITS. BUT ASK 'ELMER FUDD' WHO WILL SAY THAT HE IS BUGGED BY THAT ' WASCALLY WABBIT'. BUGS MAY BE WICKED FOR ELMER BUT ISN'T HE WONDERFUL FOR US?
Try and think out the answer before using 'MOUSE OVER!'
PASS YOUR MOUSE OVER THE QUESTION MARKS
(???) FOR THE ANSWER TO EACH QUESTION! ANSWER
WINDOW WILL OPEN. JUST CLICK OK TO MAKE THE ANSWER GO AWAY AND GO ON TO THE NEXT
1.Who directed Bugs in the cartoon film 'A Wild Hare' his first film appearance?
Every question has a funny but logical answer.
Click the answer button to see the answer.
Little Bit of Fun Animals
Little Bit of Fun With some Animals
This is the way to look Sad This is how to say Sorry
Just a little fun
loves this poem because her Mum, Queen Pepper has beautiful purple
curls already and Cornflowers reckons her mum is never going togrow
old anyway. ha ha.
WHEN I AM AN OLD WOMAN I SHALL WEAR PURPLE
With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me. And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter. I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells And run my stick along the public railings And make up for the sobriety of my youth. I shall go out in my slippers in the rain And pick the flowers in other people's gardens And learn to spit
Hi their Everyone. My
mum, Queen Pepper saw what I had written about her and her purple hair
and she said I have already made her an old lady, which isn't true
folk's, she was only joshing :). Anyway she asked me would I put this poem on here for her. Of course I told her I would, so here it is. We'll have my dad here next, does anyone know a poem about an old king with long ginger hair and beard and a moustashe. Oops I'll end up being grounded if I'm not careful. Your Princess Cornflower. xxx
WHEN I'M A LITTLE OLD LADY
When I'm a little old lady
Then I'll live with my children and bring them great joy. To repay all I've had from each girl and boy I shall draw on the walls and scuff up the floor; Run in and out without closing the door.
This is called "ALL MADE WITH FOOD" Enjoy yourselves xx
What I want you to do [with help if you like] is to find as many different pieces of fruit and veg as you can in this picture?
No prizes I'm afraid but I'm sure you will have lots of fun writing down the list and trying it out on your friends. Have Fun, if you want you can play the video whilst your looking. Hope you get at least 15, there are a few more.