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Diddily Dee Dot's Dreamland for Children Everywhere
Knock Meadow

JUST FOLLOW THE WORDS AND READ THE JOKES

POOHHA HA HA


OR MAYBE HERE THE KNOCK, KNOCK AND DON'T COME IN

POOH


Why couldn't they play cards on the ark?
Noah was sitting on the deck.

What do you get if you cross a rabbit and a flea ?
Bugs Bunny !

What do you get if Batman and Robin get smashed by a steam
roller?
Flatman and ribbon.

Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t".
Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.

What school supply is always tired?
A knapsack!

Teacher: You’ve got your shoes on the wrong feet.
Pupil: But these are the only feet I’ve got!

What’s the difference between a teacher and a steam train?
The first goes “Spit out that chewing gum immediately!” and the second goes “chew chew”!

Today my teacher yelled at me for something I didn’t do.
What was that?
My homework!

What is white when its dirty and black when its clean?
A blackboard!

Teacher: I see you missed the first day of school.
Kid: Yes, but I didn't miss it much.

Teacher: Could you please pay a little attention?
Student: I'm paying as little attention as I can.

Teacher: James, where is your homework?
James: I ate it.
Teacher: Why?
James: You said it was a piece of cake!

Teacher: Why is your homework in your father’s handwriting?
Pupil: I used his pen!

Why is a tomato round and red?
Because if it was long and green it would be a cucumber!

How do you make an apple puff?
Chase it round the kitchen!

What did one tomato say to the other?
You go on ahead and I’ll ketchup!


Why did Harry potter?
Because he didn’t feel like rushing!

How does Batman’s mother call him in for dinner?
Dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner dinner Batman!

Why wasn’t Cinderella any good at soccer?
She kept running away from the ball!

What did baby corn say to mommy corn?
Where's popcorn?

What colour is a hiccup?
Burple!

How do you divide 20 potatoes among 6 people?
Boil them and mash them!

I eat my peas with honey
I’ve done it all my life
It makes them taste quite funny
But it keeps them on the knife!


Mary had a bionic cow,
It lived on safety pins.
And every time she milked that cow
The milk came out in tins.

Jack and Jill
Went up the hill
To fetch a pail with water,
Jack fell down and broke his crown
and Jill collapsed with laughter!


As I was coming down the stair
I met a man who wasn't there.
He wasn't there again today
I wish that man would go away!


Roses are red
Violets are blue
Some poems rhyme
But this one doesn’t!


The night was dark and stormy
The bathroom light was dim
I heard a crash, I heard a splash!
Oh Gosh – he’s fallen in!


What does a kitten become after it's three days old?
Four days old!

What do you get when you cross a parrot with a centipede?
A walkie talkie!


Where do cows go on Saturday nights?
To the MOOO-vies!

Why is it hard to play cards in the jungle?
There are too many cheetahs!


What happens when a cat eats a lemon?
It becomes a sour puss!

What do you get if you cross a fish with an elephant?
Swimming trunks!

What do you do when a dinosaur sneezes?
Get out of the way!

What do you call a blind dinosaur?
I-don't-think-he-saw-us!

What do you call a dinosaur wearing tight shoes?
My-foot-is-saurus!

What do you call a Stegosaurus with carrots in its ears?
Anything you want, it can't hear you!

Why did the dinosaur cross the road?
Because the chicken hadn't evolved yet!

When can three giant dinosaurs hide under a small umbrella and not get wet?
When it's not raining!

 Whether the weather be fine, 

Or whether the weather be not,
Whether the weather be cold, 

Or whether the weather be hot,
We'll weather the weather,    Whatever the weather,    Whether we like it or not.

In marble walls as white as milk,
Lined with a skin as soft as silk,
Within a fountain crystal clear,
A golden apple doth appear;
No doors there are to this stronghold,
Yet thieves break in and steal the gold.

(An egg.)
Six shimmering sharks sharply striking shins.
Six silver swans swam silently seaward.

Peter pan pats his pet puppy perpetually

What did the shy pepple monster say?   I do wish I was a little boulder!

 How does Moby Dick celebrate his birthday?

He has a whale of a party!

ha ha ha ha ha

Who designed Noah's ark?

An ark-itect !

Which watch did which witch wear and which witch wore which watch?

If a black bug bleeds black blood, what color blood does a blue bug bleed?

Knock Knock                        
Who's there?                 
 Isabel               
Isabel who?    
Isabel out of order? I had to knock!

 If you understand, say "understand".
 If you don't understand, say "don't understand".
 But if you understand and say "don't understand".
 How do I understand that you understand? Understand!

CAROL COLOURS CURLS.

 What happens if a big hairy monster sits in front of you at the cinema?

You miss most of the film!

 What kind of animal goes OOM?
A cow walking backwards!

What animal has more lives than the cat?
A frog, he croaks every night.

A top shoeshine shop is a ship-shap shoeshine shop, not a slipshod shoeshine shop.

What did one flea say to the other flea?
Shall we walk or take the dog?

What do you get if you cross a crocodile with a flower?

I don't know, but I'm not going to smell it!

Why was the Little Mermaid embarrassed?
Because she saw the big ship's bottom!

What is the strongest animal?
A snail. He carries his house on his back!

What is the difference between a flea and a wolf ?
One prowls on the hairy and the other howls on the prairie!

40 FEARLESS FIREMAN FOUGHT 40 FLAMING FIRES FEARLESSLEY.

Red wine White wine Red wine White wine Red wine White wine Red wine White wine Red  wine White wine Red winw White wine

How does a hedgehog play leap-frog?
Very carefully!

I heard a riddle yesterday, I have remembered it for you;
What's never out of fashion? Say! The letter F, for this is true!

Where do hamsters come from?
Hamsterdam.

What kind of snake is good at math?
An adder.

Happily  Hurricanes Hardly  Happen

Busy Bumble Bees Buzz Buzzily Backwards

What has six eyes but cannot see?
Three blind mice!

Joey: I lost my dog.
Lauren:Why don't you put an ad in the newspaper?
Joey: Don't be silly! He can't read


If you notice this notice, you will notice that this notice is not worth noticing.

She saw a fish on the seashore and I'm sure.The fish she saw on the seashore was a saw-fish.
A mushroom walks into a bar and the waiter says
'You look like a fungi!'   (fun guy)

Knock knock, who's there?
BOO

BOO WHO?
OH YOU DIDN'T NEED TO CRY IT WAS ONLY  A JOKE
Thirty days hath September,
April, June, and November;
February has twenty-eight alone,
All the rest have thirty-one,
Excepting leap year, that's the time
When February's days are twenty-nine.
Oh dear! What can the matter be,
Three old maids got stuck in the lavatory,
They were there from Monday to Saturday,
And nobody knew they were there.

 The first Old Maid was Elizabeth Bender,

She went in to fix her suspender,
It snapped back, hit her  and wow did wind her,
And nobody seemed to care.


There's a knock at the front door.
 A man opens it and looks down to find a snail sitting on the stoop.

He picks up the little critter and throws it as far as he can.
Three years later, there's a knock.The man opens the door, looks down, and there sits the same snail.

The snail looks up and says, "What on earth was that about?"



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