The Jelly Baby, the
Baby walks into a bar and starts talking to a
Smartie. After a few beers the
Smartie says, "Ere, a bunch
of us are heading to that new club, fancy
Baby says, "No mate, I'm a
soft centre, I always end up getting my head
Smartie says, "Don't worry
about it, I'm a bit of a hard case, I'll look
Baby thinks about it for a minute and says, "Fair enough, as long as
you'll look after me", and off they go.
few more beers in the club, three Lockets walk in.
As soon as he sees them,
Smartie hides under the table.
Lockets take one look at Jelly Baby and start
kicking him, breaking cola
bottles over his little jelly head, lamping him
with little sugary chairs, and
generally having a laugh. After a while they get
bored and walk out.
Baby pulls his battered Jelly Baby body over to the
table and wipes up his
Jelly Baby blood and turns to Smartie and says,
"I thought you were going
to look after me."
was!" says Smartie,
"But those Lockets are